Not in the mood

I used to thank God for each new morning He offers to me

Sun, wind even rain were beautiful

breathing, being, feeling were normal stuff...

Growing up I started to see the world differently

Disease made me feel differently

I'm different for everyone but from me

I don't know if I still believe in God... May be Yes ! In fact I still believe that there is certainly something more, something else

But WHAT !?

Nowaday my mood is fading away and each morning is more a pain than a blessing

There are people around me

Well not just people, my daughter and my husband but it is mostly as I'm alone

Everyday they slip out the house from the morning and only come back at night when I'm already sleeping

Being ill for them mean that I should stay alone

They never propose me to go out with them

They enjoy restaurant, day on the beach, parties, friends

and forget all about me

they forget Mother's day

last year they forget my birthday and this year they will probably forget

I have the felling that may be they just wish that I'm dead !

So yes, now mornings and days are kind of useless for me

Well mostly in this house

perhaps I'll better worth somewhere else...